some jokes

1 One day ,a snake ,a ant ,a spider and a centipede are play cards together at home,a moment later ,the cigarette is over,so they discuss who should go out to buy some cigarette.the snake said:"I will not go to buy it because I have no feet at all,let the ant go ."then the ant said:"The spider 's feet are more than me,let the spider go."
but the spider said:“my feet are more less than the centipede,he should go."The centipede have no idea but to go out buy cigarette.the snake ,ant and spider wait him for a long time ,but the centipede still not get back,so they told the spider to go out to see what's wrong with the centipede,when the spider get out the door ,he found the centipede was sit on the step in front the door,the spider was very angry ,he said :"Hey! what are you doing there?we all waiting for you!" However the centipede said:"Wait for a moment and I will wear all my shoes on！"

2 The master of a psychiatric hospital said to a patient:" You fished a patient who want to suicide from a pond that indicated your ill is take a turn for the better ,but it is a pity that he is died because he hanged himself again.
The patient said:" Oh,It's me ,I hanged him on the rafter because I want to dry him in the air.

3 One day ,the master of the psychiatric hospital want to know how many patient are recovered,so he told the nurse to paint a gate on the wall,all the patient were bumped against the wall,except a patient who stand peacefully,the master was very surprised ,so he ran to him and asked :"Could it be that you didn't want to go out with them?"but the patient answered :"They are so stupid! “the master was so happy because he consider this patient was recovered,so he asked him again:"Why they are stupid?"the patient said:"The key is in my hand!"

4 In a psychiatric hospital,there are two patient were talked together,one of them asked :"What about my fiction?" "Very good,but there are so many people in your fiction ,it is hard to remember and distinguish."said another one ,then a nurse come in and shouted to them :"Hey ! put the telephone directory back!"