some jokes

1 One day ,a snake ,a ant ,a spider and a centipede are play cards together at home,a moment later ,the cigarette is over,so they discuss who should go out to buy some cigarette.the snake said:"I will not go to buy it because I have no feet at all,let the ant go ."then the ant said:"The spider 's feet are more than me,let the spider go."
but the spider said:“my feet are more less than the centipede,he should go."The centipede have no idea but to go out buy cigarette.the snake ,ant and spider wait him for a long time ,but the centipede still not get back,so they told the spider to go out to see what's wrong with the centipede,when the spider get out the door ,he found the centipede was sit on the step in front the door,the spider was very angry ,he said :"Hey! what are you doing there?we all waiting for you!" However the centipede said:"Wait for a moment and I will wear all my shoes on！"

2 The master of a psychiatric hospital said to a patient:" You fished a patient who want to suicide from a pond that indicated your ill is take a turn for the better ,but it is a pity that he is died because he hanged himself again.
The patient said:" Oh,It's me ,I hanged him on the rafter because I want to dry him in the air.

3 One day ,the master of the psychiatric hospital want to know how many patient are recovered,so he told the nurse to paint a gate on the wall,all the patient were bumped against the wall,except a patient who stand peacefully,the master was very surprised ,so he ran to him and asked :"Could it be that you didn't want to go out with them?"but the patient answered :"They are so stupid! “the master was so happy because he consider this patient was recovered,so he asked him again:"Why they are stupid?"the patient said:"The key is in my hand!"

4 In a psychiatric hospital,there are two patient were talked together,one of them asked :"What about my fiction?" "Very good,but there are so many people in your fiction ,it is hard to remember and distinguish."said another one ,then a nurse come in and shouted to them :"Hey ! put the telephone directory back!"

The meaning of life

A turtle sees a bee is busy gathering honey and says to it:"I heard your life is only several months, really?"
The bee glances at the turtle ,says:"we do can survive only few months."
The turtle says:"our life is very long ,many of us can survive more than hundred years. Why not enjoy your short life instead of work hard for others?"
The bee answers :"Because we know our lives are not long ,so we cherish time greatly.We also tr treasure our lives. Based on that reason ,we will utilize every minute and second fully to do more beneficial things for human being before we die. "
The turtle asks :"You will leave the world soon. so You don`t feel unhappy and inferior, do you ? "
The bee answers :"of course ,we all feel unhappy since we can`t live in the world long ,but we don`t feel inferior .On the contrary , we feel a sense of pride for brewing plentiful honey for human being through our hard--working . Although our lives are short, the meaning of life is unlimited. In my opinion, it is meaningless for some people to survive in the world over hundred years if they do nothing throughout their lives. What do you think?"
After the turtle has heard what the bee said , it leaves away without saying anything.
The meaning of life is to possess substantial live rather than a longer one.